PATIENCE - A KEY TO HOME BUILDING

The opposite of patience is not impatience per say; it is actually FRUSTRATION. Every aspect of the home can frustrate anybody – talking about putting up with stress, providing for the family; taking care of the children and nurturing them, or putting up with your spouse, all these takes patience. It is evident that no one is born with patience; patience is a virtue that should be acquired and developed.

According to 2 Peter 1:5-6:

“….add to your FAITH, VIRTUE… and to KNOWLEGDE, TEMPERANCE and TEMPERANCE, PATIENCE…”

More so, patience is itemized as one of the fruit of the Spirit. What then is Patience? Patience is the ability to wait calmly in the face of frustration. Patience is the key to lifelong spiritual upliftment and emotional freedom. In the home, many things happen: rejection, disappointment, irritable behaviour from children or spouses, or reaction that can drive one crazy; but one need to learn how to transform this frustration or exhaustion into Patience to build a long-lasting home. A lot of people have the wrong notion or idea about patience – when you tell someone to be patient, they think you’re telling them not to take action, or to just leave the situation and keep looking, some even think to be patient is stupidity or let people walk all over you. No! Patience is power.

            Patience is a powerful emotional feeling that helps you practice waiting, watching and knowing what to do and when to act. Patience is a form of compassion that helps gather wisdom from deep within ourselves and apply it during times of frustration. The problem in the world today is everyone wants quick and immediate result, no one is ready to be patient enough to work it out. Most frustration that occurs in the home is because our need aren’t met and instead for us to delay our reaction a little till this need are met we act out and this turns into agitation and intolerance. But patience helps you to take a step back, regroup and see things differently instead of responding aggressively or hastily giving up on someone. The truth is expressing frustration isn’t bad, it is actually healthy to do so – we are all humans; but it must be done in love and not in anger or irritation. If one keep wallowing in frustration and complaining every time, it makes everyone tense and dissatisfied including yourself and this kills the Love and sense of humour in the home.

            All religion attest to the fact that the way to knowing God is through Patience. Patience is birth from Love; it keeps you centred, strengthens you and helps you alleviate (reduce) stress. Patience doesn’t mean you can’t set boundaries with people, but it lets you get a larger picture of an issue and helps you make a more loving action. When you can stay calm, centred and not act rashly out of frustration, all areas of your life including your home will improve. Patience helps in building empathy towards others. It helps maintain a long-term relationship and achieving bigger and better goals in the home. When you ask couples who have stayed together very long in marriage; they say mostly say it’s patience. From putting up with the silliness of the children; a spouse who throws his clothes anywhere or takes forever to dress up when going out and so on. In building a home and a solid marriage (relationship), patience needs to begin with every individual within the family starting from the parents – then this spans down to the children. They learn from their parents.

            Patience is something that needs to be practiced every day, because building of the home is a daily routine process. It is very difficult sometimes because each day brings new attitude, new frustration and new worries; but patience can help dissolve all this. Patience helps you build a solid foundation of a good home as it would help you:

1.      Understand your spouse better – helping you deal with their shortcomings and flaws each day till you both grow into perfection. – Ephesians 5:25-33;

2.      Nurture and love your children in the Lord and not provoke or mishandle them (especially emotionally) – Ephesians 6:4;

3.      Patience helps you train up your child diligently (Proverbs 22:5) and deal gracefully with your spouse – Ephesians 4:32;

4.      Patience helps you submit to one another in the home – Ephesians 5:21;

5.      Patience helps maintain and solidify the bond of Love, Peace and Unity in the home – Ephesians 4:2-3.

Long suffering is the child of Patience. Patience helps you to endure, in other words, helps you bear all things in Love. The word “LONG SUFFERING” doesn’t necessarily mean for you to suffer or anything, it means FORBEARANCE and trusting things will change for good and be alright. In conclusion, the role of patience cannot be over-emphasized in building the home. It is a paramount ingredient in building a good and lasting/peaceful home.